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Finding Your Queer Squad: Making Friends as an Adult in the Queer Community

Updated: Nov 20, 2023

Friendship is a fundamental aspect of human life, offering companionship, support, and shared experiences. For members of the queer community, finding like-minded friends can be an especially meaningful and enriching part of life. However, making friends as an adult, especially within the queer community, can be a unique challenge. In this blog post, we'll explore the dynamics of forming friendships as an adult in the queer community and highlight the importance of community organizations like Queer Connect KC, a shared community calendar focused on fostering queer joy and belonging by connecting queer people to queer events.

Overcoming the Challenges

Making friends as an adult can be a daunting task, regardless of one's sexual orientation or gender identity. Many adults find themselves in new cities or life stages where their established social circles have diminished. In the queer community, there are specific challenges to consider:

a. The Closet Effect: Some queer individuals may have spent years in the closet, which can delay their ability to connect with others openly.

b. Intersectionality: Queer identities are diverse and intersect with various aspects of an individual's identity, such as race, gender, and disability. Finding friends who can relate to these complex intersections can be challenging.

c. Fear of Rejection: The fear of rejection or judgment due to one's queer identity can make approaching potential friends intimidating.


Embracing Inclusivity

To overcome these challenges, it's crucial to embrace inclusivity. The queer community is incredibly diverse, representing various races, ethnicities, genders, and backgrounds. Building friendships with people who celebrate and respect this diversity is essential. Seek out spaces and events that prioritize inclusivity, like those listed on Queer Connect KC.


Queer Connect KC: Fostering Queer Joy and Belonging

Queer Connect KC is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to make friends within the queer community. This shared community calendar compiles a wide range of queer-centered events, making it easier for queer individuals in Kansas City to connect with others who share their interests. From drag shows to LGBTQ+ support groups and art exhibitions, Queer Connect KC offers a multitude of opportunities to forge new friendships.

This community calendar serves as a hub for queer events, creating a sense of unity and belonging. By participating in these events, you not only have the chance to meet potential friends but also contribute to the vibrant queer culture in your area.


Building Connections

Once you've found events that pique your interest on Queer Connect KC, it's time to work on building connections:

a. Be Open and Approachable: When attending queer events, maintain an open and approachable demeanor. Smile, make eye contact, and strike up conversations with people who catch your attention.

b. Join Queer Organizations: Consider joining local LGBTQ+ organizations or support groups. These organizations often provide safe spaces for networking and forming friendships.

c. Use Online Platforms: In today's digital age, social media and dating apps can also be useful tools for connecting with queer individuals in your area. Just be sure to use them safely and responsibly.

d. Attend Queer Workshops and Classes: Pursue your interests by attending workshops or classes related to your hobbies or passions. This is an excellent way to meet like-minded individuals.


Nurturing Friendships

Building friendships as an adult takes time and effort. Once you've connected with potential friends, don't be discouraged if it takes a while to establish deeper connections. Here are some tips for nurturing these friendships:

a. Be Patient: Not all friendships will develop at the same pace. Give people time to get to know you, and reciprocate their efforts.

b. Be a Good Listener: Show genuine interest in others by actively listening to their stories and experiences.

c. Be Supportive: Offer your support and be there for your friends during both their highs and lows.


Making friends as an adult within the queer community can be a fulfilling and rewarding journey. It's important to overcome challenges, embrace inclusivity, and leverage resources like Queer Connect KC to find events that align with your interests. Building and nurturing friendships takes time and effort, but the connections you make can provide a sense of belonging and support that enriches your life in countless ways. So, put yourself out there, be open to new experiences, and watch your queer squad grow.

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